Feeling Angry, Misused and Confused?

“So tired! So tired of feeling like my head is going to pop off because the stress of work, raising children, maintaining a relationship, eating healthy, managing extracurricular activities, and the bills (the ones I know about and the ones that surprise me on any given day) is getting to be too much! Help Lord! Help!”


Have you ever felt like this? Does it seem like God has forgotten you? Do you feel like giving up on everything? If so, then it’s time to delegate some responsibilities, make some changes in your schedule, talk to your boss about taking a personal day, and tap a family member, friend or a babysitter for some help so that you can take some time to orchestrate a plan to make your burdens lighter!

For believers, you know God told us he wouldn’t put anymore on us then we can bear, but so often God isn’t the one putting burdens on us -- we are! Then we suffer with headaches, heartaches, backaches and whatever other ache! For example, read the following burdens we put on ourselves that have nothing to do with what God puts on us.

• Living a life bigger than we can afford.

• Taking on employment for a challenge and money which requires us to work long hours.

• Taking chances with sex and then one day, “Surprise we are expecting!” (Or in need of healing.)

• Drinking and eating things that we know are bad for our bodies then wonder why we are so sick.

• Wanting what we think is best for our children even if it means they have little time to do what is required of them like their homework all so we can say, “My child is into this activity and my child is doing this…”

• Opening up lines of credit on things we know we can’t afford including cars when public transportation is within walking distance.

• Fill our minds with music, television, Internet, and radio programming that subconsciously make us feel worse ie.) songs about breaking up, murder dramas, and unrealistic sexual fantasies.

We are all guilty of putting more on us than we can bear. Then we complain about not having any money! Then when we get more, we still aren’t satisfied. So yes, when we get to a place of being so tired that we can’t carry the burden anymore, that’s when we will change! That’s when we will get tired of the attitude that creeps upon us when someone asks us to do just one more thing. We will throw in the towel on a relationship that hasn’t been going anywhere for years. We will find childcare when we know we can’t handle being at home with the children. We will start exercising when we can’t stand to go to another doctor’s appointment. We will stop trying to be like the Joneses and put off those extracurricular activities for our children until we have the time and money to dedicate to them.

However, some of us just aren’t tired enough and so it’s only a matter of time that we will be put on our backs in a bed while looking up at the ceiling and thinking, “How did things get this way?” For some of us, we will come out of sickness and fight to get things right in our lives. But for others, despite illness, they just won’t learn. They will keep on being tired, keep on having an attitude, keep on feeling misused, and walk around looking confused.

You see, no one likes truth when he or she is busily working on a life that is spiraling downhill. We run from it, we deny, we defend, and we cut people off, because truth hurts. Truth doesn’t take you by the hand and coddle you. It pushes you in the back, sometimes grabs you around the throat, or simply looks you in the eye and says, “You’re wrong!” You’re wrong for walking around here with a bad attitude. You are wrong for thinking you are better than the next woman or man. You are wrong for treating your partner and children that way. For some people, truth will convict, shake you up wherever you are! I have personally seen truth at its worst, for those who are hardheaded, put people in jail, kill, burn down and burn up, cause one to miscarry, cause another to catch a disease, expose secrets, and so much more!

For believers, you know when truth gets way down deep into your soul: you are dancing, crying, screaming, chanting, jumping, running, or sitting still unable to move! Then one day you wake up and say, “I’m tired of feeling angry. I’m tired of having an attitude, feeling misused and confused!” Then you will act on what you know and you will begin to do things differently.

Some of us adults are like babies trying to walk for the first time, we stumble, we hold on, we fall and then we keep getting back up again until we have mastered the walk. Then as we learn how to walk, we will talk but there is life and death in the tongue, according to the Bible. Unlike babies who don’t have a choice of teachers to select, adults do. We should associate ourselves with people who will help us discover our truths; therefore, providing us with the common sense and wisdom to not only walk but talk the talk--the kind of people who will see when we are falling and call us to truth.

In time, we will get better! Then those around us will take notice that we don’t have such a bad attitude anymore and that we aren’t as angry as we once were. As we feel better about ourselves we won’t easily fall into traps of being misused or abused. Some people right now who are reading this are in the midst of change. You are thinking about the people in your life you must rid yourself of, you are thinking about cutting back on some of those activities you have got yourself and children in, you are thinking of doing some things to improve your personal relationships, and you are planning to make some financial changes too. This is what truth does it makes you sick and tired of being sick and tired!

God bless!

Innocent Crush, Guilty Obsession or Idol Worship? Celebrities

You may not bow down to them, but a celebrity is an idol for many people.  There was a time when people frowned on the words "idol" and "idol worship," but shows like American Idol softened the word "idol" and made it innocent.  However, those of you who are bible readers know there is nothing innocent about idol worship.  You anger God.  Your focus is centered more on the TV, radio and anything else that promotes an idol; instead of meditating on God's word or sitting silently long enough to hear a word from the Lord.  Then we wonder why the enemy gets a foothold in our lives. 

You may know just about everything your favorite celebrity has ever written, been to every concert that has come to town, bought their music or movies, and may have an extensive collection of photographs! However, there’s just one problem, you know you are your celebrity’s biggest fan, but those around you think you are their biggest freak. How do you know if you have an innocent crush or guilty obsession about a celebrity?
One. You think of them more than you do your partner.

Two. You pray for them more than you do yourself or the people you know.

Three. You believe that one day he or she will marry you.

Four. You have celebrity photos all over your home with little room for pictures of anything else.

Five. People who have observed your mannerisms, seen your home, or rode with you in your car have actually told you, “You need help!”

Six. You have actually willed part of your material wealth to him or her (as if they need it!)

Seven. You have had surgery done to look like them.

Eight. You plan your life around their events. For instance, you can’t just go to the concert, you have to hang outside the radio or television station where they are being interviewed.

Nine. Friends or family have threatened to call the police on you for stalking the celebrity.

Ten. You have spent much money to find out where a celebrity receives mail, if he or she has read your mail, and how to get in touch with the celebrity’s staff in the hopes that you will one day have lunch with him or her.

Eleven. You have money woes as a result of collecting celebrity memorabilia.

Twelve. You have relationship problems as a result of your thinking about your favorite celebrity so often.

If you find you can relate to many of these signs then you need help first repent for allowing the idol(s) to take center stage in your daily life therefore replacing your Savior.  Begin to cut back on the things that keep reminding you of this person, place or thing.  You may have to rid yourself of many things from pillowcases to magazines of favorite celebrities.  Next, fill up your free time doing the things of God.  Seek wise counsel for assistance.  God may have been calling you to fulfill his work while you were busying yourself with idols.  If you still find you are having trouble breaking free, find a professional who may be able to assist you with separating your fantasy from reality before you or anyone else gets further hurt by your obsessions.

Older Women: How to Relate to Younger Women

You see them, younger women, decorated with the latest fashions, giggling amongst friends, tossing their hair, shifting their body in ways that taunt men, and some of you either reflect on your youth when you see them or turn away in disgust passing judgment. As one older woman put it, “Older women you had your day too!” That’s right and some older women are still having “their day” even if they look ridiculous doing it. Gray hair, lines, wrinkles, age spots, and other signs that come with age just doesn’t flatter an outfit that was specifically designed for a young woman in her twenties. But some women try very hard to fit in with the younger crowd rather than be an example. So what is it that older women should be doing or saying to usher the younger women into maturity other than scolding them or gossiping about them? You will find answers to this question in the Book of Ruth, as quoted from the New King James Bible.


For those of you who are not familiar with the story, to summarize it briefly, it is a story about a relationship between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law. The mother-in-law, Naomi, lost her husband and sons to death which resulted in her two daughters-in-law and herself becoming widows. After her husband and sons passing, Naomi, decided that she would return to her hometown without her daughters-in-law. According to the scripture, she tells them, “Go return each to her mother’s house. The Lord deal kindly with you as, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband.” Ruth 1:8. But her daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, objected. They said to her, “Surely we will return with you to your people.” Ruth 1:10. After reading this biblical text, one can reason that in preset days, when it comes to not only relationships similar to this one between in-laws, but also with older and younger women, that older women are telling younger women, “You can’ t go with me. Go find a man and leave me alone.” You see, these older women have had heartbreaking issues, just as Naomi did, in their lives from dealing with health related problems due to age to partners running away with younger women or even dying and all these older women want is to be left alone! What they don’t realize is through their pain they can be a blessing to these younger women which we see later in the passages of scripture.

So Orpah and Ruth aren’t taking Naomi’s subtle rejection lightly. But Naomi isn’t giving into them easily and tries to provide them with the benefits of not going along with her on her trip back home. Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husband’s? ‘Turn back, my daughters, go – for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone against me!” Ruth 1:11-13. Sometimes older women provide a list of reasons as to why they can’t or won’t do something, just as Naomi did with her daughters-in-law. The old adage, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” seems to be befitting here since she is acting stubbornly. Although as intelligent as the reasons may sound that Naomi gives her daughters-in-law, the information is useless to the younger women. With all the years of life experience, some older women tend to avoid opportunities to share life lessons with younger women. Like Naomi, they will reject younger women in subtle ways or boldly.

Eventually, Naomi’s efforts successfully turned one young woman away and that was Orpah. The Bible says that she cried, kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. Ruth 1:14. Sometimes an older woman’s reactions will push a younger woman away rather than draw her near. However, Ruth wasn’t buying into Naomi’s rhetoric. There are young women who are in older women’s lives clinging to them! These older women have done everything to try to keep them away! Whether she is the girlfriend of the son, the young co-worker, the relative or the neighbor, she keeps coming around the older woman. Some younger women may be a nuisance to the older women by doing the following: calling her on the phone, repeatedly asking to go out to lunch with them, following them to an event, or even sitting beside them in church making small talk when they rather be left alone. Naomi told Ruth after she clung to her, “Look your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” It is safe to say that God had ordered Ruth’s steps to stay with Naomi just as that nuisance of a younger woman today has been ordered to stay in the presence of the older woman. So after rejecting her daughter-in-law, Naomi did in this next passage of scripture what older women should be doing today, she listened to Ruth. “Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you will die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.” After Ruth responded to Naomi’s rejection, the Bible says she stopped speaking to her. Sometimes an older woman will have to stop resisting the efforts a younger woman is making to befriend her!

The biblical story of Ruth and Naomi’s relationship, a younger woman and an older woman, should be an inspiration to those of you who think that you must only have relationships with women your own age. Ruth’s youthful energy is evident as you read more scripture; she actually worked in the field and brought what she earned back to Naomi. Naomi realized the blessing she had in Ruth. Some older women have been missing out on wonderful opportunities both personally and professionally, because they just don’t realize the gold mine they can receive when partnering with some younger women! She may be the connection that will give you the following: a husband, the increase in income that you have been praying about, the companion that you need to attend functions, and so much more! Naomi received Ruth and realized the many blessings she was due to gain in the future. A relative bought a field from Naomi as a result of her teaching Ruth.  In addition, her daughter-in-law was a good listener and received wise counsel from her elder. When an older woman takes the time to teach a younger woman a few things about life, she may gain from the teaching that she has given to the younger woman.

Naomi and Ruth’s relationship is an exceptional example of how older women and younger women should relate to one another. If older women followed this biblical teaching, there would be less eye rolling, gossiping, and angry feelings toward younger women. If one cannot be a blessing to those around them, then it is better to just stop speaking and do more listening as Naomi did with Ruth in the beginning of their relationship.

Parents Sending Children to Church But They Aren't Going, Why?

Years ago you may have been the child told to go to church while your parents stayed home. You may have wondered why was it that your parents felt it all too important to send you, but they didn't go. The church experience is what many parents desire for their children because they feel it helps them spiritually. They believe that teaching children good morals to live by will make them overall good citizens. However, when the church experience is not a positive one, it doesn't matter what well-meaning intentions the parents might have had, the child is left scarred possibly for life. He or she may never return back to a church setting or to God. So why might parents send children off to church in the first place, but not go themselves?

One. Local church good for the children, but not for the parents.

There may be positive talk amongst neighbors and friends about a local church, so parents may take their children to the services. Things may go on at the church that are fun for the children such as a movie night, game days, and pizza parties. However, the same church may not have activities for the adults that are very positive. From bad bible studies to argumentative members, the parents may have felt disheartened about visiting again. Yet, they like what the church is doing for the children, so they allow their own sons and/or daughters to continue to go.

Two. A needed break from children.

Some parents have no time away from the children through the week except when they work. Other parents may not have a job, but stay-at-home with young children each day. So what better way to get some free time from their sons and daughters? They will send them to a church where they feel they can trust most of the people. The parents gain about an hour or more to themselves this way.

Three. They falsely assume that the children will turn out better than themselves.

There are those parents who believe that if they can establish a Christian foundation with their children by sending them off to church that they will turn out better than they did. However, that all depends on two things: is the parents living model lives and is the church experience going to be a positive one as mentioned previously? If the parents aren't practicing what they preach, the children will most likely mimic the parent's behavior. If the parents are strict about sending the child to church and then once they arrive the church is strict about teaching them, they will not enjoy learning. Peers can make or break a church experience as well especially if the child is being bullied and teased during the study. The atmosphere tends to be at times more relaxed than school which allows for more opening up of one's feelings which also leaves plenty of room for others to hurt the individual emotionally. Not only that, not every person is sincerely a believer teaching these bible studies which should be cause for concern. We have all heard the reports of sexual abuse in the church. When a child has any or all of these negative experiences in the church, he or she may actually turn out worse than the parents.

Four. Parents believe change is good for the children, but not for them.

The parents want their children to get involved in the church because they believe it is good for them. However, when it comes to committing to the church and all the responsibilities that may come with it (like assisting with the children's ministry, singing in the choir, and greeting church-goers) they aren't interested. Parents know that they will eventually have to sacrifice time and money, both of which they have little of.
Five. Pressure from family and/or friends to send children.

Grandma sent her children to church. So did an aunt and a cousin in the same family send their children to the same church. So a family will expect other generations to follow suit. Sometimes parents will send their children to church because everyone else around them is going and they don't want to be the one talked about in circles for not sending at least the children. This is not the greatest reason for sending children to church, but this is what some parents will do.

Now that you have some idea why parents will send their children to church while they remain distant, understand that the children can still win their parents to Christ if they remain faithful. God has a way of using children to fulfill His will.

15 Reasons Some Churches Should Close

During a time when most churches should stay open, it is actually beneficial to the church body at large to close them. Why you may ask? Because if a church is not going to obedient to the word of God, be led by the Holy Spirit, and work to uplift a community and help to reform its people, then close it!

One. Every Sunday church is a big party. The leadership is always on the road and guest speakers are doing the pastor's job.

It may seem on the surface that the church should stay open. People seem to be having a good time. However, no where in the scripture does God command us to have a good time. If anything, most of the books in the Bible talk about God doing or saying something in the Bible to convict, condemn, uplift or renew a person spiritually. If God has appointed a shepherd for his flock, then why are sheep grazing in unknown territory where wolves are abound? Sometimes the wolf shows up and becomes the shepherd? So if the church is looking to have fun, allow for their shepherd to go here and there, and appoint others less experienced to run the show, why not turn the group into a social club?

Two. Biblical truth is not being taught.

With each passing Saturday or Sunday, the church is skipping over scripture, editing scripture, changing Bibles so as to find a more accepting passage of scripture, and doing other things with scripture that God would frown upon, why bother to call your church a church? No matter how unpopular the text, stick to the script! Don't change it because man/woman is offended.

Three. The leadership/board members are consistently doing something that is totally against the will of God.

God teaches mercy and forgiveness, but he also is a just God. He knows we are sinful and that within each of us we are rebellious. So with that said, when you know church leadership will not behave in the way that God wants us to, then why keep following them? In time, their burdens will fall upon you along with God's wrath. We are to stay away from workers of iniquity.

Four. Members physically fighting in the church.

When you find that people are allowed to fight in the church with little or no input from staff, there is a problem. Sometimes the staff is responsible when this happens, one ought to find a church with less distractions. The enemy loves to create distractions to keep you from focusing on God.

Five. Tithe money finds only the leadership's income, while everything else in the church suffers.

The building is falling apart, the choir needs new robes, there is no working instruments, lighting is terrible, and the air conditioner is non-existent. Yet, the church leadership is getting paid. There is a problem, someone or group doesn't have their priorities straight. If the building is suppose to honor God, then the church has a funny way of showing it!

Six. Members do not go outside of the church to do anything God-related.

How can you call yourself a Christian when you do nothing but go to church? There is no talk of God outside of the church. No sharing any messages to encourage others. No invites to your church home. There is absolutely nothing going on that says, “God wants you!” This is a good enough reason to re-evaluate whether your church is really about serving the Lord or serving yourselves.

Seven. No assistance from congregation on matters of significance. Leadership is often disputing.

So you tried to talk some sense into your brother and/or sister in Christ, but no one is listening. Others have tried to do some positive things to get the church moving in the right direction, but all anyone wants to do is argue. Close the church and re-open it when everyone on staff knows their role.

Eight. Lack of attendance and a handful of dedicated members.

Why does one need a church building that seats hundreds for a few members who could fit into someone's living-room? God doesn't care about man's tradition such as how long he has had the church in his family. God cares about saving souls. Give up the church to a God-ordained minister who can fill it up and meet at someone's home.

Nine. Problems budgeting the church finances.

No matter what anyone does, the church continues to have problems paying the bills. Why continue to rack debt and worry over keeping utilities on when one can't figure out the church finances? Close the church until you have a team of people who know what they are doing.

Ten. Repetitive maintenance issues.

People of God can put others at risk when they continue to take chances seating people in churches that have building issues. From environmental allergies due insects in the kitchen, don't keep a church open that has these kinds of problems. Otherwise in time, the church just might be hit with a lawsuit.

Eleven. Children are running the church.

The biggest misconception about children is that they are innocent. They are capable of doing evil just like any other person; therefore, they should never be trusted to run a church. If the only “holy” person you can find in your church is a child, then it's obvious it is time to close your doors.

Twelve. Loans are being taken out to pay for every bill accrued by the membership.

As soon as the blessings come in, there is a collector with his or her hands open. This was never God's intention when he called his workers to open his church. Unless church staff can find another way to stay out of debt other than borrowing money, then it should close. Why? Because it's only a matter of time that the church will start becoming money-centered rather than God-centered in order to keep people interested enough to donate. See article on “The Church Building and Rising Debt” written by Nicholl McGuire.

Thirteen. People worship the building by believing that God is only present in the church.

This type of behavior borders on the line of witchcraft and idol worship. God is everywhere! We can't limit him to a church building. When a congregation is spending more time living in the church; rather than being home with their families, there is a spiritual problem. If the building is causing you to sin, cut it off!

Fourteen. There is no one spiritually gifted in the church.

What's a church without spiritually gifted people? Those that are appointed by God should be able to share all gifts! Not select ones just because others may not have those gifts. Test the spirits and help those spiritually gifted to become stronger within the church body.

Fifteen. The church is lukewarm.

God talks about lukewarm churches is his Bible. He spits them out. When a church is barely making it, and no one is being impacted, say a prayer, plan a date for close and simply walk away. You will get fed more reading the word with two or three than with a group that could care less about God or His word.

If you are a part of a group or leading one and you are finding it increasingly difficult to move ahead according to God's will, go to him with your church issues and ask him to lead you and/or your group in the right direction.

Read Isaiah 51 and if you should have to speak boldly before a group about what you have learned, keep in mind, God is on your side.