I really thought my spiritual teachers had it altogether so I hung on their every word back during those naive days I mentioned in another blog entry. However, what I didn't know back in the mid-nineties is that there is the god of the world that people praise and then there is the God of the Bible. What makes things a tad bit complicated is which Bible God do you serve?
There are so many bibles! How do you know which one is right? You don't unless you have the gift of the Holy Spirit or receive guidance from a believer who you know reads the word and you can see the wonderful things that are happening in and around his or her life. So how do you get the spirit? Well you can't get the spirit, he has to come upon you. That doesn't happen unless you open yourself up to the word of God, pray and fast, ask God for the gifts of the spirit, and allow the one who is appointed by God to lay hands on you. This usually happens when you walk down an aisle at a church or are in the presence of sincere, anointed believers who will pray with and over you.
Now while these things are going on around you, inside your mind you have to fight the thoughts like, "I have to get back to my seat, I bet people think I look stupid standing here, When will this all be over?" You have to think about things like how grateful you are to be alive, talk to God about the things you have done and ask him for his mercy, thank Him for the favor he has shown you even when you didn't deserve it, and ask him to draw near to you. This is what some of the people are thinking about when they are standing in front of the congregation crying and looking as if they are ready to pass out from grief.
God has a hold on the true believers who really want something miraculous to happen in their lives! All the ugly that those who walked in darkness said about God, what wrong they did to other people, and many other things is what causes them to grieve on the inside. It is through their convictions that they finally say, "Enough, I can't do this by myself Lord -- I need your help!" At that time some will fall out on the floor, shout, cry, even foam at the mouth because some very ugly things they are dealing with are being exposed. Afterward, they feel a sense of relief, a hope that things will get better.
For me, I studied a few chapters that were assigned to me after attending a class before I walked down the aisle and accepted Jesus as my personal Savior.(The study was in the Book of Acts, Galatians Chapter 5, and I John.) I wanted to know what I was getting myself into and even after reading the Bible and the teachers providing me with education and instruction I still didn't necessarily grasp what I was doing. All I knew is that where I was in my life between the physical abuse, drinking, clubbing, and acting a fool 95-96, I needed some guidance.
When I got up to the front of the church back then, I cried and the man of God touched my head. I didn't feel anything at that time, but as the days passed things began to change and I realized that there was something different about me. In time, I stopped having the desire to go out to places I didn't feel comfortable, end a relationship that wasn't good for me, and cut off some so-called friends that did nothing more than take from me. I still had problems back then that I struggled with and even now, but I am nothing like I used to be.
I don't recommend everyone go down any aisle especially if you haven't learned anything about the church, read the Bible, or don't feel right about the people, because the scripture does say, "many are called but chosen are few. " But what I do suggest is that if you attend a church and fill this tugging to walk down the aisle in your mind and body -- like Nike says, "Just do it!" You don't know what God has in store for you and you definitely don't want to miss a new and improved you!
For some of you it could happen this Sunday while you are visiting someone else's church. Better study up! That might be the first and last time you will get a special calling. Then once you get to the front of the aisle, listen to what the leadership says and go to a class so that you understand what this all means. If you don't get any understanding you will be walking between two worlds wondering why things seem to be getting worse.
You see things got worse before they got better for me because I didn't surround myself with prayer warriors back in the 90s. Sure, I got the minister's blessing and studied for a little bit with the mothers of the church, but in time I purposely lost contact, because I wasn't completely sold on God, so to speak. I made excuses because I wanted "to do my own thing." And doing my own thing almost got me killed! You see, in my mind I thought I was a "little god"--the god of self! I thought I didn't need anyone to tell me anything and if I wanted to know something I always had the Internet or a book to read. That is until God got a hold of me!
I leave you with this, if you think that you are a "little god" or you serve little gods then why aren't they saving you from your troubles? Could it be that the god you have been waiting on to answer your prayers isn't really God but just a figment of your imagination? The only way to know the truth is to read it.
Nicholl McGuire
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