Embrace the new people who come into your life for a season, but when things seem to have come to an end, rather than work to keep them in your life, be willing to let them go. This is a message I have learned through experience.
When I think about what I have just written, the people who overstayed their welcome in my life comes to mind. Their welcome should have been canceled years ago, but I fought to keep them there! You see, I am usually the person that reaches out to others, I have my good memory to thank for this. I am the kind of person that will take you back to a time you may have forgotten about and bring you back to it again (those from my former elementary, high school and college know this by the photos I have posted in my social networking photo albums.) Depending on where you were during that time of your life, you may have good memories or bad, but I don't intentionally set out to hurt people. So when someone comes into my life or vice versa, rather than hold my hand up in a cross formation and wonder, "What does this person want with me?" I watch them like a movie; I listen and learn. What they say for the time being may be pertinent to my life then again maybe not.
But what happens when the friendship or relationship has served its purpose? A series of warnings also known as "red flags" come up. Everything from promise after promise to meet one another but your gut says "don't" and arguments about one thing or another while neither party is willing to compromise.
I am one of those who try to keep relationships and friendships going long after the expiration date. What do you think usually happens when you keep a carton of milk past the expiration date? You got it, it spoils! Then when you dump it out, it stinks! That's how expired relationships and friendships eventually work out! When this happens, I am usually the one losing the most money and/or time. If a person promises to call, but doesn't, I would try to keep in touch anyway even though the writing on the wall would say, "Keep away." If a loved one invites me somewhere I rather not go, I would sometimes go against my better judgment and go. There are usually warning signs when it comes to these expired relationships and friendships, but at times I would still "give them the benefit..." However, there are those times when doubt would kick in and the safety warning would blink "back away," sometimes I would put an end to those connections and sometimes I wouldn't. I am learning as I go along in this journey called, "Life."
Everyone who comes into our lives are just not "meant to be!" That's why when I see these large networks of people online who claim "friendship", these huge mega churches, and other gigantic organizations, I can't help but think how many people are really meant to be in that person's life/network/group. How many of those people you are trying to reach are really a waste of time and energy? While one is fighting with a negative person who should have been gone out of his or her life a long time ago never to be reached again, others are building worthwhile connections that are getting them somewhere.
When people are "meant to be" in our lives, they bring gifts not excuses, attitudes, disagreements, and fights. That's not to say that you won't disagree with your quality connections, because you will, but you must know when to take heed to warning signs that a person has overstayed their welcome in your life.
Just as I have picked my share of people to disconnect from, there have been others that have disconnected from me. Rather than, feel like this is some great loss or a bad reflection on the woman "I am," I consider it a blessing, because for every one person that leaves there are two more that come into my life whether on or offline. I have had discussions in the past about this issue of "seasonal" friends and most will say that the relationship or friendship started off great, but then took an ugly turn. I must say from personal experience that ugly turns are just warnings to avoid opening the doors up again to a person or group unless you absolutely must (and usually the "must" part falls under the category of family--sometimes you don't have much of a choice especially if you know you need to resolve matters that are affecting others in your family circle.) However, making peace doesn't mean be a fool!
Now some people may have never had an "ugly turn" experience, but that doesn't mean that these same people are significant to your destiny, so why create a bad experience to get them out or wait until it gets to a negative point in the relationship or friendship? Just step away quietly. You don't have to go out with a bang! I have had some people who came into my life with a bang and went out with one as well! There simply is no need to keep gathering around the table with Judas. How many times did Judas sit at the table with Jesus? (Hello!)
These days I am welcoming those who are meant to be while dismissing those who aren't and avoiding the temptation to open up anymore doors that were meant to be closed and stay closed years ago. Not every door should or needs to be open. I rather have two friends I know are "meant to be" (God's will) then have ten that aren't.
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