self-love
self-respect
self-acceptance
self-criticism
self-awareness
self-definition
self-pride
self-reward
self-care
self-encouragement
Now what's wrong with being a little selfish?
Thursday
What About Laboring to Love Myself?
While there are many who are in love with self, worship and even honor self, there are many more who could careless about self. Both expressions of loving or lacking love of self are extreme, but it happens.
I wrote a book entitled, Laboring to Love Myself by Nicholl McGuire available at Amazon.com, because after going through domestic and dating violence at the ripe age of 21, I realized for me to allow someone to come into my life and totally dominate it, I didn't think too much of myself in the first place, but thought the world of the person coming in. A love like that is deadly! It is also extreme and lacks balance. In the end, it is emotionally draining and robs you of all self-awareness, self-acceptance and so many other self-protective mechanisms created to guard your heart.
So my new book, Laboring to Love Myself, is a continuation from the first book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. In this book, I am coping with learning how to love myself even in the midst of beating myself up for having made such a bad relationship decision at a mere 21 years old. You see, victims of dating and domestic violence not only deal with the abuse from others, but they also abuse themselves as well.
When abused victims do something wrong, they don't easily forgive themselves. Their mistake(s) follow them for days, nights, weeks, and worse yet, years from now! Many are perfectionist types, the kind of people who have to make sure everything is well-thought out, planned, executed on time, and always in order. When things fall apart, they don't always know how to fix them, especially if it is beyond their control, so rather than just walk away or delegate the task to someone else like "normal" people do, they keep working at problems even though they may be a lost cause or out of their control (ie. bad partnerships, bad friendships, bad relationships, bad relatives, bad deals.)
So in Laboring to Love Myself, I am fresh out of an abusive relationship during the late 90s and ready to face the world as a single, happy and renewed woman! I have been saved, sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled with alot to learn. In this poetry memoir, I take you on what I consider the cliff notes of my spiritual quest to get back to loving me "in spite of" with no conditions just being me! You will walk with me into the new millennium and witness an interesting turn that occurs in my life resulting in me bringing life into this world.
Feel free to journey with me on what it means to love oneself and how I relied on God in the process, Laboring to Love Myself, Amazon.com and take a look at my blog:
LaboringToLoveAnAbusiveMate.blogspot.com
I wrote a book entitled, Laboring to Love Myself by Nicholl McGuire available at Amazon.com, because after going through domestic and dating violence at the ripe age of 21, I realized for me to allow someone to come into my life and totally dominate it, I didn't think too much of myself in the first place, but thought the world of the person coming in. A love like that is deadly! It is also extreme and lacks balance. In the end, it is emotionally draining and robs you of all self-awareness, self-acceptance and so many other self-protective mechanisms created to guard your heart.
So my new book, Laboring to Love Myself, is a continuation from the first book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. In this book, I am coping with learning how to love myself even in the midst of beating myself up for having made such a bad relationship decision at a mere 21 years old. You see, victims of dating and domestic violence not only deal with the abuse from others, but they also abuse themselves as well.
When abused victims do something wrong, they don't easily forgive themselves. Their mistake(s) follow them for days, nights, weeks, and worse yet, years from now! Many are perfectionist types, the kind of people who have to make sure everything is well-thought out, planned, executed on time, and always in order. When things fall apart, they don't always know how to fix them, especially if it is beyond their control, so rather than just walk away or delegate the task to someone else like "normal" people do, they keep working at problems even though they may be a lost cause or out of their control (ie. bad partnerships, bad friendships, bad relationships, bad relatives, bad deals.)
So in Laboring to Love Myself, I am fresh out of an abusive relationship during the late 90s and ready to face the world as a single, happy and renewed woman! I have been saved, sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled with alot to learn. In this poetry memoir, I take you on what I consider the cliff notes of my spiritual quest to get back to loving me "in spite of" with no conditions just being me! You will walk with me into the new millennium and witness an interesting turn that occurs in my life resulting in me bringing life into this world.
Feel free to journey with me on what it means to love oneself and how I relied on God in the process, Laboring to Love Myself, Amazon.com and take a look at my blog:
LaboringToLoveAnAbusiveMate.blogspot.com
A Church on Every Block
A church on every block
I cry.
Why?
Blood stained pavement
left behind by young souls.
Down on her knees,
momma hollers
beating the demon senseless.
Spray painted walls
evidence of a failing community.
The future wonders in circles
while daddy hides his face.
Roaches and rats invited
to a family reunion
quickly marking territory
like original gangstas
while babies play.
Needles and guns
needles and guns
the game of the 90s.
So long to Chutes and Ladders
so long to Connect Four.
And grandma, cousin
sister, and brother
are wrapping in swaddling
clothing lying in God's manager,
yet we still cry...
we still cry.
A church on every block.
A church on every block.
Why?
I cry.
Why?
Blood stained pavement
left behind by young souls.
Down on her knees,
momma hollers
beating the demon senseless.
Spray painted walls
evidence of a failing community.
The future wonders in circles
while daddy hides his face.
Roaches and rats invited
to a family reunion
quickly marking territory
like original gangstas
while babies play.
Needles and guns
needles and guns
the game of the 90s.
So long to Chutes and Ladders
so long to Connect Four.
And grandma, cousin
sister, and brother
are wrapping in swaddling
clothing lying in God's manager,
yet we still cry...
we still cry.
A church on every block.
A church on every block.
Why?
Wednesday
You Call Yourself a Christian
You call yourself a Christian, a believer, a child of God
when it benefits
appeases
elevates
cultivates
looks good
feels right
but maybe not tonight.
For when darkness falls and the sheets pulled back
you will be dreaming of your money stack.
Hundreds, fifties, twenties, and a dolla'
cause you reeled them in and made them holla!
How long can you keep up your acts?
Avoiding the truth, forgetting the facts!
You know you don't love the Lord
You could care less about the sword.
You say you are one of the chosen, the few
but isn't this not about them, but you?
when it benefits
appeases
elevates
cultivates
looks good
feels right
but maybe not tonight.
For when darkness falls and the sheets pulled back
you will be dreaming of your money stack.
Hundreds, fifties, twenties, and a dolla'
cause you reeled them in and made them holla!
How long can you keep up your acts?
Avoiding the truth, forgetting the facts!
You know you don't love the Lord
You could care less about the sword.
You say you are one of the chosen, the few
but isn't this not about them, but you?
Friday
Worthwhile Article about Expressing Love
I thought this article was worth including on this blog since it demonstrates true love! Check it out...
Jesus taught that the first great commandment is, “Thou shalt love the lord thy god with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” Then the Lord Jesus went on to tell us what the second great commandment in the Law is, “ ....and the second is like it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40 KJV) By the instruction of the Lord Himself we know that upon these two directives hang the Law and the Prophets. Obedience to these will lead men into the obedience of all the Lord's commandments. This article is devoted to the second great law, which is that we must love one another as ourselves. Why is it referred to as the second great commandment? I would say it is because it is the second hardest thing for men to do, the first hardest is to love God with all our heart, soul and strength. Why are these so difficult for men to do? Because man is profoundly self-centered. For other then by surrender to the grace of God no man can get past “self” to live in a manner that is firstly God-ward, and beyond that to live a life directed toward others. Only one man has ever completely filled this bill and that was the Lord Jesus. Every other man who has lived has failed these commandments, however, that does not take away our responsibility to, by the grace of God that is at work with in us, give our selves to the fulfillment of the Biblical commandment to love our neighbor as our self.
So we find that we are commanded to love one another as we would our own self. In order to emphasize and maintain this love the Lord Jesus gave to the Church two admonitions: The practice of foot washing, and the practice of the holy kiss. Although both practices are commanded by the Scripture, neither would have any significance if it were not that they are to reinforce brotherly love among the members of the family of God. This gives them extreme significance.
THE HOLY KISS-or-THE KISS OF LOVE
Through ignorance I was totally negligent in the practice of this commandment for many years, although I had an open godly testimony. It was not rebellion on my part, but rather simply the working of ignorance and confusion. I, although a “son of the Church”, was never instructed by her to do this commandment. A blindness being on the eyes of the Church and myself in regards to this practice. It is impossible to understand the need to practice the holy kiss until one can open his heart to understand the need for brotherly love in the house of the Lord. There is absolutely no need for the holy kiss, or the kiss of love if we have no intention on loving our brother as our self. If we are not interested in warmth of heart among God's people. If we are not interested in dealing with each other in respect, in dignity, in tenderness, in humility, in forgiveness, in the building up of each other, in the comfort of each other, then there is no purpose in the practice of the holy kiss. The holy kiss, which in my determination is exercised the man to the man, and the woman to the woman, is to emphasize the great importance that we see for the other person. It is the act of saying, I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE AS IMPORTANT AS I AM. It is to humble one's self before his brother. It is to say, I respect you. It is to say, I honor you, and give you value. It is to show affection and warmth.
When I make mention of this Scriptural commandment others often say to me, “it's a cultural thing that is being spoken of, therefore I do not need to do that.” To that statement I answer, “yes, every culture ought to obey God's word and fulfill this commandment.” For the commandments of the Scripture ought not to be influenced by society, but it is man's cultures that ought to be influenced by the Holy Scripture.
Some may say, “do I have to kiss another on the lips?” No, not as far as I am concerned, but to kiss your brother on the lips is not necessarily evil. However, to kiss your brother on the cheek certainly fulfills what we are commanded to do.
Is the western practice of a hand shake equal to the holy kiss? First of all if the Lord would have desired a hand shake I am persuaded that He would have commanded that. Secondly, I do not believe that the depth of brotherly affection and honor that can be transferred in the practice of the holy kiss can be transferred in the practice of the handshake.
Again, I say that this practice finds its total need of existence in the fact that we must love one another. Knowing that the fulfillment of love, the one to the other, is to stop evil in the world, ought we not to pursue love? For is it not true that if true love could exist in every heart then there would be no evil among men? So love is paramount. Love is supreme. Love is to be sought above all things. Therefore, that which is basic to the bringing forth of love is of extreme value. The holy kiss is found commanded in these verses: Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:20, 1 Thessalonian 5:26, 1 Peter 5:14
FOOT WASHING
The practice of foot washing as is spoken of by the Lord Jesus in John 13:12-17 is not directly a commandment, but a point of wisdom we are encouraged to follow. The which in my mind is an equal to a commandment. For when a superior desires something of us, is that not to be taken as a commandment? If a father says to a son, “I sure wish you would do this certain thing”, or, perhaps he puts it this way, “I'd like it if you would get this done for me.” is not his stated desire an equal to an order? I think so. Therefore, I view the Lord's encouragement of us to wash one another's feet as an equal to His commanding it. So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garment, and was set down again, He said unto them, know ye what I have done for you? Ye call me master and lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your lord and master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord; neither is he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if you do them. ( John 13:12-17KJV)
Jesus, having washed the disciple's feet uses the example of his own actions to instruct them to humble themselves toward each other. He did this by instituting the practice of brother washing brother's feet. No, it is not to clean your brother's feet as if they were dirty, but to humble one's self before his brother in order to serve him in this basic manner. Why do this? What is the need for this practice? The need is found in that we of nature are not humble the one to the other, but self seeking. We need this action to help break down the wall of “self” that separates us from an open, honest, pure relationship of genuine love and service to our brother. The practice of washing our brother's feet is a tool to empower us to be able to be genuine, honest, pure, devoted, sincere, openly affectionate, loyal, devoted, and if there is any other word that sums up brotherly love, then it ought to be done and not left undone.
As I see it, the bottom line of this issue is expressed in this question. Do I have faith, and the commitment of love toward God and my brother to follow Jesus in greeting my brother with the kiss of love, and to wash his feet?”
Written by someone who calls himself, "A Watchman"
Jesus taught that the first great commandment is, “Thou shalt love the lord thy god with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” Then the Lord Jesus went on to tell us what the second great commandment in the Law is, “ ....and the second is like it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40 KJV) By the instruction of the Lord Himself we know that upon these two directives hang the Law and the Prophets. Obedience to these will lead men into the obedience of all the Lord's commandments. This article is devoted to the second great law, which is that we must love one another as ourselves. Why is it referred to as the second great commandment? I would say it is because it is the second hardest thing for men to do, the first hardest is to love God with all our heart, soul and strength. Why are these so difficult for men to do? Because man is profoundly self-centered. For other then by surrender to the grace of God no man can get past “self” to live in a manner that is firstly God-ward, and beyond that to live a life directed toward others. Only one man has ever completely filled this bill and that was the Lord Jesus. Every other man who has lived has failed these commandments, however, that does not take away our responsibility to, by the grace of God that is at work with in us, give our selves to the fulfillment of the Biblical commandment to love our neighbor as our self.
So we find that we are commanded to love one another as we would our own self. In order to emphasize and maintain this love the Lord Jesus gave to the Church two admonitions: The practice of foot washing, and the practice of the holy kiss. Although both practices are commanded by the Scripture, neither would have any significance if it were not that they are to reinforce brotherly love among the members of the family of God. This gives them extreme significance.
THE HOLY KISS-or-THE KISS OF LOVE
Through ignorance I was totally negligent in the practice of this commandment for many years, although I had an open godly testimony. It was not rebellion on my part, but rather simply the working of ignorance and confusion. I, although a “son of the Church”, was never instructed by her to do this commandment. A blindness being on the eyes of the Church and myself in regards to this practice. It is impossible to understand the need to practice the holy kiss until one can open his heart to understand the need for brotherly love in the house of the Lord. There is absolutely no need for the holy kiss, or the kiss of love if we have no intention on loving our brother as our self. If we are not interested in warmth of heart among God's people. If we are not interested in dealing with each other in respect, in dignity, in tenderness, in humility, in forgiveness, in the building up of each other, in the comfort of each other, then there is no purpose in the practice of the holy kiss. The holy kiss, which in my determination is exercised the man to the man, and the woman to the woman, is to emphasize the great importance that we see for the other person. It is the act of saying, I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE AS IMPORTANT AS I AM. It is to humble one's self before his brother. It is to say, I respect you. It is to say, I honor you, and give you value. It is to show affection and warmth.
When I make mention of this Scriptural commandment others often say to me, “it's a cultural thing that is being spoken of, therefore I do not need to do that.” To that statement I answer, “yes, every culture ought to obey God's word and fulfill this commandment.” For the commandments of the Scripture ought not to be influenced by society, but it is man's cultures that ought to be influenced by the Holy Scripture.
Some may say, “do I have to kiss another on the lips?” No, not as far as I am concerned, but to kiss your brother on the lips is not necessarily evil. However, to kiss your brother on the cheek certainly fulfills what we are commanded to do.
Is the western practice of a hand shake equal to the holy kiss? First of all if the Lord would have desired a hand shake I am persuaded that He would have commanded that. Secondly, I do not believe that the depth of brotherly affection and honor that can be transferred in the practice of the holy kiss can be transferred in the practice of the handshake.
Again, I say that this practice finds its total need of existence in the fact that we must love one another. Knowing that the fulfillment of love, the one to the other, is to stop evil in the world, ought we not to pursue love? For is it not true that if true love could exist in every heart then there would be no evil among men? So love is paramount. Love is supreme. Love is to be sought above all things. Therefore, that which is basic to the bringing forth of love is of extreme value. The holy kiss is found commanded in these verses: Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:20, 1 Thessalonian 5:26, 1 Peter 5:14
FOOT WASHING
The practice of foot washing as is spoken of by the Lord Jesus in John 13:12-17 is not directly a commandment, but a point of wisdom we are encouraged to follow. The which in my mind is an equal to a commandment. For when a superior desires something of us, is that not to be taken as a commandment? If a father says to a son, “I sure wish you would do this certain thing”, or, perhaps he puts it this way, “I'd like it if you would get this done for me.” is not his stated desire an equal to an order? I think so. Therefore, I view the Lord's encouragement of us to wash one another's feet as an equal to His commanding it. So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garment, and was set down again, He said unto them, know ye what I have done for you? Ye call me master and lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your lord and master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord; neither is he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if you do them. ( John 13:12-17KJV)
Jesus, having washed the disciple's feet uses the example of his own actions to instruct them to humble themselves toward each other. He did this by instituting the practice of brother washing brother's feet. No, it is not to clean your brother's feet as if they were dirty, but to humble one's self before his brother in order to serve him in this basic manner. Why do this? What is the need for this practice? The need is found in that we of nature are not humble the one to the other, but self seeking. We need this action to help break down the wall of “self” that separates us from an open, honest, pure relationship of genuine love and service to our brother. The practice of washing our brother's feet is a tool to empower us to be able to be genuine, honest, pure, devoted, sincere, openly affectionate, loyal, devoted, and if there is any other word that sums up brotherly love, then it ought to be done and not left undone.
As I see it, the bottom line of this issue is expressed in this question. Do I have faith, and the commitment of love toward God and my brother to follow Jesus in greeting my brother with the kiss of love, and to wash his feet?”
Written by someone who calls himself, "A Watchman"
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