Why doesn't God answer my prayers?

God does answers prayers; however, every prayer isn't always a good prayer. For example, prayers concerning material wealth may start off a blessing but end up a curse. Think about how many people win the lottery and wish they hadn't because every one now wants a piece of their pie! So God may have answered your prayer with silence. He may be allowing you to get your personal life or finances in order before he allows you to receive yet another person, place or thing in your life.

I can think of a time in my life where I was feeling angry as if nothing was going right and I felt that God wasn't listening. Then one day the Holy Spirit reminded me that God did answer my prayers. It may not have been in the way I anticipated they be answered, but they were including those he remained silent about. It was a good thing too, because if he had done what I thought he should have, I would have been in some serious trouble in both my personal and professional life.

The best prayers are those which praise God and thank him (since he already knows the desires of our heart anyway.) This doesn't mean we shouldn't ask for things, but what we should be concentrating on is a relationship with him and not necessarily on what he will do for us. Amen?

All About a Selfish World

self-love
self-respect
self-acceptance
self-criticism
self-awareness
self-definition
self-pride
self-reward
self-care
self-encouragement

Now what's wrong with being a little selfish?

What About Laboring to Love Myself?

While there are many who are in love with self, worship and even honor self, there are many more who could careless about self. Both expressions of loving or lacking love of self are extreme, but it happens.

I wrote a book entitled, Laboring to Love Myself by Nicholl McGuire available at Amazon.com, because after going through domestic and dating violence at the ripe age of 21, I realized for me to allow someone to come into my life and totally dominate it, I didn't think too much of myself in the first place, but thought the world of the person coming in. A love like that is deadly! It is also extreme and lacks balance. In the end, it is emotionally draining and robs you of all self-awareness, self-acceptance and so many other self-protective mechanisms created to guard your heart.

So my new book, Laboring to Love Myself, is a continuation from the first book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. In this book, I am coping with learning how to love myself even in the midst of beating myself up for having made such a bad relationship decision at a mere 21 years old. You see, victims of dating and domestic violence not only deal with the abuse from others, but they also abuse themselves as well.

When abused victims do something wrong, they don't easily forgive themselves. Their mistake(s) follow them for days, nights, weeks, and worse yet, years from now! Many are perfectionist types, the kind of people who have to make sure everything is well-thought out, planned, executed on time, and always in order. When things fall apart, they don't always know how to fix them, especially if it is beyond their control, so rather than just walk away or delegate the task to someone else like "normal" people do, they keep working at problems even though they may be a lost cause or out of their control (ie. bad partnerships, bad friendships, bad relationships, bad relatives, bad deals.)

So in Laboring to Love Myself, I am fresh out of an abusive relationship during the late 90s and ready to face the world as a single, happy and renewed woman! I have been saved, sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled with alot to learn. In this poetry memoir, I take you on what I consider the cliff notes of my spiritual quest to get back to loving me "in spite of" with no conditions just being me! You will walk with me into the new millennium and witness an interesting turn that occurs in my life resulting in me bringing life into this world.

Feel free to journey with me on what it means to love oneself and how I relied on God in the process, Laboring to Love Myself, Amazon.com and take a look at my blog:
LaboringToLoveAnAbusiveMate.blogspot.com

A Church on Every Block

A church on every block
I cry.
Why?

Blood stained pavement
left behind by young souls.
Down on her knees,
momma hollers
beating the demon senseless.

Spray painted walls
evidence of a failing community.
The future wonders in circles
while daddy hides his face.

Roaches and rats invited
to a family reunion
quickly marking territory
like original gangstas
while babies play.

Needles and guns
needles and guns
the game of the 90s.
So long to Chutes and Ladders
so long to Connect Four.

And grandma, cousin
sister, and brother
are wrapping in swaddling
clothing lying in God's manager,
yet we still cry...
we still cry.

A church on every block.
A church on every block.

Why?

You Call Yourself a Christian

You call yourself a Christian, a believer, a child of God
when it benefits
appeases
elevates
cultivates
looks good
feels right
but maybe not tonight.

For when darkness falls and the sheets pulled back
you will be dreaming of your money stack.

Hundreds, fifties, twenties, and a dolla'
cause you reeled them in and made them holla!

How long can you keep up your acts?
Avoiding the truth, forgetting the facts!

You know you don't love the Lord
You could care less about the sword.

You say you are one of the chosen, the few
but isn't this not about them, but you?